The MBA Journey

Where one journey ends, another begins.  The past two years have been a mix of personal tests: challenges, curiosities, and choices.  I set out at the end of 2017 determined to forge myself in study.  This goal led me to the UC Davis MBA program, and I found myself surrounded by a supportive community of business leaders with an appetite for improving the world. 

It's interesting how a vague goal slowly manifests into many interesting happenings.  Over the course of the program, I discovered product management for games, participated in a venture capital case competition, started an educational app project, and much, much more.  I made new friends, adjusted my thinking with a few books, and honed my communication skills.  All these deserve stories of their own, which I'd love to divulge someday.

Today, I'm just taking a moment to celebrate the achievement.

When I moved my belongings home (most of it fit in this van!), a big question mark appeared in front of me.  What's the next journey going to be?  

This year started off with a lot of uncertainty.  It's one-half tumultuous and another-half chaotic, but new ground will be settled once balance is returned.  2020 also marks the near-ending of a decade for me.  So I'd like to make it a meaningful cycling of time.  Regardless of where I'm headed next, I'm certain to hold myself to these key values:

Creativity - to make reality from imagination

Connection - to share and communicate

Curiosity - to investigate and discover 

Continue on!

The Non Update Update

The past year and half have been tough with experiences of love, loss, and limerence...so much so that, coming out on the other side of it I must (not-so-subtly) mark a shift in tone.  Nothing too serious, nor too exciting.

It's 2016 and I'm 20 and 5 (6 if you're counting old-fashioned Chinese).  A quarter century old.  It only feels right to bookmark this as an ending of a chapter in this life--and the beginning of the next one.  Of course, there's never quite a finite ending in continuous time, so here are the sketchbooks I'm filling up and stashing away at the end of the year.

Nothing signals the end of an era like the upgrading of a computer!  I got a deal on a bunch of older parts from a friend and rebuilt his "Beast", set up in my corner here:

A list of the games I remember playing in this time gap would be interesting to look back on, so:

Metal Gear Solid 3
Metal Gear Solid Peace Walker
Metal Gear Solid 4
Metal Gear Solid V
StarCraft 2: Legacy of the Void
XCOM 2
Dota 2
Diablo 3
Dark Souls
Pillars of Eternity
Darkest Dungeon
Endless Legend
Hyper Light Drifter
The Witness
Invisible, Inc.
Splinter Cell: Conviction 
And more...

I had the most fun and thoughtful time with Metal Gear.  It was particularly touching to play through these four installments of Metal Gears, and seeing the message Kojima had on the death of loved ones, and the way it changed throughout the years.

So, that's it for the nothing-to-update-on post.
Cheers, to the years to come...

The World and The Wired

I feel lost between the boundaries of The World and The Wired.

Today, I spend more time peering though Windows into the depths of cyber-space than looking out through my window at the city outside.  And I see a billion people like myself looking around also at this massive pile of data.  This internet lets the minds of the world connect, not as fundamentally as the neural network of Pandora, but extensive at least throughout human beings.  And I feel this urge to 'upload' myself to this network.  Yet this is not possible.  All that can be seen are strands of thought, a silhouette of person.  Perhaps my expectations for this technology are too high.  An Avatar in today's sense is not a complete projection of a person's being though the wire.  While Jake Sully was able to 'soul exchange' into a Na'vi, I can only project a cross-section of myself here.  The Wired, on the hand, merges the real world with the internets through IPv7.  No boundaries.  No problems.

An Alternate to Diary

Well, since I'm spending so much time on the computer anyway... I thought I'd take on a paperless version of my Diary. I've fallen so far behind on it! Lack of motivation, or the inconvenience of it all, I don't know, but here I am setting up a blog as an alternative. My friend Yさん has kept one up for years now, and I thought I'd give it a try, in addition to all of the other blogs that I keep on the internet. Though, splitting my life through all of these different strands feels... like I'm partially hiding my complete self from the internet. As if the internet were a sentient being. I just did some digging up into Blogs and Internet Diaries. It turned out Justin Hall, a USC IMD alumnus pioneered blogging, and kept it up for eleven years before stopping and turning his focus on his local world.

This is boring, personal information that followers of my work need not read. As an alternative, this stinks as I cannot draw in the side margins of the "diary" nor will i staple mementos to the pages. A couple more regrets and things to rant about, but that one is an interesting anecdote, which we'll leave for another time, eh? ;D

This reminds me of the Orwell Prize blog that was set up around George Orwell's diary. Some days he would just "log" the number of eggs laid by his chickens, but, most importantly he wrote something down. Always starting off with the weather, he wrote at least one thing about his day. Now I'm having second thoughts of expanding this to that language blog site Lang-8, where if I were to blog in Japanese, a native Japanese speaker would comment and correct my mistakes. That would be a great learning experience. Some people blog a lot. Others not so often...

This Lang-8 system looks like it would help me a lot in my studies as a supplement to daily class. Look out for my upcoming Lang-8 blog ;D.

Today (2009.12.28)
Yesterday I woke up late as usual, what with the terrible nightowl sleeping habits. Not as bad as some fellow college students, who go to sleep way past 3 and 4 a.m. Guh, was very annoyed at my father pestering me to finish the chicken soup that Grandma cooked for me. It was a great soup, however. Just remembered that I haven't drunk the swallows' nest drink yet. That stuff is mighty good for ya'.

Listening to: 大胆にいきましょう↑Heart & Soul↑ (Daitan ni Ikimashou) - Tamaki Nami

Cross Cultural Music

Isn't it just great when music is shared across borders?

A*Teens - Perfect Match
Tamaki Nami - Daitan ni Ikimashou (Heart & Soul)

There's Tamaki Nami's cover of A*Teens' catchy song.  I'd always thought "Daitan ni Ikimashou" felt different from her other music.  Especially with that -desu in the first line. Unforgettable. I would always have to readjust when my playlist goes from "Reason", "Realize", or "Believe" to he bouncy, light, full-stop-at-the-end-of-every-line "Daitan ni Ikimashou".

So I've been listening to "Upside Down" and sketching out the next two AnimeLA paintings.  No, no, none of the characters are going to be bouncing off the ceiling in a fit of love.

Another Blog.

I've just created another blog.  I have a terrible habit of starting and starting and starting and never finishing.  No, rather, I continue to set up finish lines but don't make any effort towards crossing them.

I'd created the blog for another purpose, but what the hell, I can't let snatching up that blog name go to waste.  So, I've canceled one project not even half an hour into it.  And then've started a new one.  One whose finish line is set... nowhere in sight.  Welcome to Grandpa's Violin.  Sometimes I wonder whether using Blogger over Wordpress is a good idea.  Anyway, I had intentions to make a diary blog but in my narcissism decided to scrap that.  "Grandpa's Violin" is the one Yuki Kajiura song that my dad recognizes.  Well, if you haven't heard it yet, please do so now.  I'll wait patiently.

I'd originally planned the title to be based off of my favourite song "Winter" but the theme was too general.  Everything from "handinhand" to "darknessofwinter" was taken.  What i could get was "throughwinter" or "thruwinter" or "middleofthewinter".  Now, Through Winter isn't such a bad name for a blog, but Grandpa's Violin--now that evoked some real emotion and antiquity.

I sure wish i had a Grandpa with a violin.

Teaching Moral Character

I'm visiting a friend at UCLA this thanksgiving.  What?  USC students can't get along with UCLA students?  Anyway, she's gone to bed after claiming her one hour of sink/bathroom time, and we'll be getting up, not too early tomorrow to go Black Friday shopping!  Sadly, there are no awesome classic films being shown right now, and every girl wants to see New Moon.  Ugh, at least i was forced to watched Twilight last, Friday, was it by Cさん.  Terrible movie.  The awkwardness in the character interactions made it seem as if there was absolutely no script at all, or the actors couldn't perform.  Awkward.  I haven't read the book,but I've heard that it's just as terrible.  Terribly popular. 

Well, we had our student made, dorm-made thanksgiving dinner.  I washed the rice; what an accomplishment!  V-san was introduced, no, I was introduced to V-san, I don't know if it was Hさん's poor introduction, as she failed to mention my name, or the fact that the fact that I was a trojan that triggered no response from him.  Not even a "Hey, welcome to UCLA!"  Is it my face?  *Hさん's keyboard's s key is tricky.  What did I like?  Talked about video games again.  H?さん is a Neotokyo player.  I've finnaly found one.  Also an avid(if i have any idea how to use that word) MMORPG player.  No games for him in college though.  I brought my PS3 to school, but have only really been able to play recently, and just Assassins Creed II, with all the hype surrounding it's launch.  Ubisoft at USC, the Lineage trailer, got me excited enough about the game that I didn't wait for the delayed PC version.  I've loving the game, but the graphical capabilitie of the Playstation don't seem to be able to handle the field of vision well at all.  Is it just my system?  When the textures shift slightly, or objects appear before you as you close the distance between you and them, the "reality" of the game, the immersion that I expected (as i play with nearly no HUD), is broken.

Anyway, H?さん says that his approach would be improvement on existing ideas, basically, "I want to make an MMORPG, now what can I do differently to make it better."  Everyone asks, what kind of game do you want to make.  Yet, I hesitate to choose.  There are genres to be created.  I want to make a kind of game that you didn't even know existed.  My approach would be to build the framework from scratch.  I hope i don't give up after laying the *whatever those wooden, oh, piles?! (wiki...) yes, a PILE! I'm urprised I even remember the word.  Oh, and just looking up contruction on wikipedia, I realized the green material clad around the to-be Student Union isn't just and Orange texture placed in for the level design of the build.  It's an insulator.  I really though it was just temporary texture. -_-

So, what did I want to talk about?  Oh, we had chicken.  Yes, chicken, pre-cooked turkey was sold out ;_;  On the boring side, list of events.  I got off the bus at the right stop, after freaking out thiking i had gone all the way to Santa Monica,  Then I couldnt find the small Le Conte cross-section, walked down to Westwood.  The reliability of buses scares me.  Epecially after that close shave in Irvine.  Don't think the bus wa ever gonna come.  *Wow this paragraph is really boring, but I'm putting down some reasons to learn to drive.

Hum, any meaning to today's events?  I read Wolpaw's interview (VALVe, with the other writer, also) but maybe those thoughts should be posted to IMD?  He views the world through his (i'll dub) "current-project" filter, and everything that happens, experienced, sees, hears, is compared to work.  "How can this be used in my game?"  So, maybe I should turn on my filter right now.  I chose paper as my currect game project while sitting in the dining hall, Parkside, I believe.  Twyla Tharp says to keep your project a secret though, and they'll be more fun to do and FINISH.  I desperately need to finish, or even, start.  The star I'm reaching for is iPhone game.  Unfortunately, the concept suits 3D more, so maybe i should develop the other one.  Maybe

What I wanted to talk about in the post was my experience reading on MangaFox today.  One Piece.  Awesome.  Bleach, scanlators left a "watermark" and it was unreadable.  So I didn't read it.  Naruto, nudging forward a bit.  One Piece movie-prologue chapter?  Double-awesome, reminded me of tons of characters, which I'm sure One Piece alreasy has.  That nostalgia calls for some re-watching of One Piece, if not the entire series, whatever my sisters will.

This caught my eye.  *Oh and there's so many topics in the post I wont know how to tag this.
Well, I'd like to include an image with everpost, but the image might defame my blog, and I just had technical trouble, own no rights to the image (thought i posted Bae Doona), and, yeah.  *typing that out on the internets.

So, the title of the manga Need a Girl *translated from korean (여자친구만들고파!) caught my eye.  Hey typical manga for teenage boys, I wanted to see how this one would hit the demographic, and its portrayal of women, and the art (actually, "any short-haired girls?").  It's a little too straightforward on the perversion.  From the pages that I've read, lots of fanservice, fantasy, relations with classmates.  But what really caught my eye was the use of popular Chinese idioms, wise sayings, phrases your parents or teachers would recite into your brain in an effort to encourage better, healthier behavior.  At first, I had thought "The early bird gets the worm" would be the main theme of the chapter, but the idioms kept coming.  I'm not on my computer right now, so maybe I'll edit this post with the idioms in Chinese later.

But, these were four-character idioms that I learned in Chinese Culture class, coming right back at me.  I love it.  I love the idea of applying those timeless sayings to a situation in a manga.  However the schoolgirls are a tad bit too distracting. 

How would this be taken in a game?  Perhaps the interactivity would make the lesson stick, for the lack of a better term.  Mostly, a choose your own adventure/visual novel with moral elements.  Thoughts, thoughts?

P.S.  How many words have i written in the past hour?  Blog vs. Diary!  I'd rather not hurt my head over it, but my organizing self can't resist.  Perhaps a historian would like to do the dirty work and compile it later.  I don't feel obligated to have work done by others.  Now, those labels...

Life, and Death

Where are you Alan!? I haven't been playing on KGS at all because of your absence. Hurry up and get back here in the West Coast. I spent a few days, from, uhh. the 17th to the 24th building a website over here. It was fun, and HTMLDog definitely helped me out a lot. The only thing thing missing now is artwork. And we all know art doesn't just draw itself. *sigh* back to work...

Been thinking about a book blog, Short Blue Books? Can I just put everything in one blog and leave it at that? It wouldn't hurt would it?

The Test from Beyond the Grave!

Well, I'm still heartsick about having to leave a dear friend of mine for post-secondary education. And this feeling isn't going to go away anytime soon. Might I suggest to myself to take this opportunity and jump-start my poetry career-on-the-side? Anyhow, I'm still working on her yearbook pages, moreso on the art than the writing (what was that about poetry?).

Here I am again, courtesy of Alan Chang, who finally revealed his long-kept secret blog. He blogged ME and I didn't know it?

Well, today has been semi-productive, and i've used "well" twice now. C'mon inspiration please. Finished my hibari sketch after familiarizing myself with the mean kid with a few images off of google and two chapters of Reborn!. I was just joking when I told myself he'd be on the top 10 anime husbands, but I jinxed it (<--- remind me to never again use that word), and he snatched number one. Shirley sure knows how to pick a husband.

I do my best to avoid having to deal with the SAT, taking the PSAT once, and studying a week for the real thing in an attempt to take it out in one swing. Baaam 2190. Not good enough but better. And now my job is to tutor a prospective SAT customer. Well (#3), let's make the most out of it.

listening to:　千の風になって

Which reminds me, karaoke last weekend was a blast. Sh's voice was unexpectedly nice and high, and I was reminded of my need to further my Japanese. And Chinese. My imitation of Akikawa Masafumi, according to MM and L, passed.

Just began my read of Tolkiens Silmarillion. I've only just finished the opening myth, but I know it's shaping up to be a really great book. Yes, I'm late to the party, and I haven't read LotR yet, but hey, I'm starting before the First Age, here ;D.

Noes

I've been expecting this, but.... rejected (or as they put it "not admitted") from Carnegie Mellon.  I've had to wait an entire week to get this notfication.  It's not fair that admitted students are notified first.  An entire week of waiting when we could have moved on with life.

Acceptance!

Woot, my first image! And I've been accepted to USC's Interactive Media Division. Honestly, I don't feel like I'm qualified, but I'm excited at the prospect of going (and have been nervous the past few weeks). This nearly makes up for my UCLA rejection. I shouldn't have tried to apply to their Design | Media Arts program, knowing that I wasn't ready at all. Now all there is left to worry about are my application to Carnegie Mellon's integrated BCSA program, and whether or not I will receive enough financial aid to reasonable enroll at these schools.

With the SCVMA Math Field Day at SJSU coming up this Saturday, I feel really pressured, as I also want to put time into Heart of Darkness (just crammed with details, required reading for English 4AP class), Doodle 4 Google (I just love google, and really want to participate, also the chance for a 15k scholarship), preparing for CMU's fateful decision, and even my pages for our chinese school yearbook (>_> what pictures of myself?). I'm going to be participating the in the Leap Frog Relay, with the erudite Ken Cheng. I've had these practice questions for two full weeks, and yet i only begin to look at them with two days left until judgement. What terrible work habits.

Us children. Bob Ross, some reading power childrens' show, Wishbone, Simply Ming, Chen Jan (sp?), etc. We haven't watched the tele in such a long time, everything was made fun of.

SJSU Art Show

Followed STさん to San Jose State University. He needed extra credit for Photography... 'said it was harder than he thought. S needs extra credit? Saw Juliana Rico's photo gallery, she had a bunch of night pictures, and people who moved were blurred. I liked the fire-breathing one, and the photo of a cosplaying child (robot head) captivated by the balloon-making clown. Someone left a Pac-man note, so I drew a ghost for them. Cute! Other galleries include an unwanted gallery, with a lot of sad testimonials from people who feel left out and unloved, a Tetris clone with musical notes instead of blocks, and a pottery showcase.

In the hall, two paintings caught our attention. One yellow one had the screws take a part in the image, it reminded STさん of Steamboy. The screws looked attached to joints of machinery. Another painting featured what looked like flying sushi, and fiery food that fell through the sky like meteors. Mhmmmm, hungry.

Today I start a blog when I should be drawing my artist's book.

Green curry + coconut rice = ugh.